Life skills for your child! Teach them to discipline instead of punishment.
In the course of teaching Good Manners to children, people most of the time are mistaken in comprehending punishment and discipline, although it has two types, negative and positive.
The positive discipline is more of the behavior correction and making better choices that you teach your child so that they can prevent the misbehave while punishment is a negative discipline, it is the strategy we use to correct the misbehaviors of a child by suffering them.
Discipline is not always positive for a child he can still have the negative consequences of his behavior, although learning from negative consequences is also a part of the developmental process.
A detailed look at the difference between Discipline and Punishment can give clear concepts you can better nurture your child.
Knowing Punishment
The negative outcome of a child’s action is punishment. It can stop certain wrong behaviors for some time, but it will not help teach them to make the right choices. Some parents may consider it right, but they don’t know the consequences of punishment, let’s have a look at the problems caused by punishment.
Drawbacks of Punishment
Since the punishment is negative, it can create negative impacts and confusion in a child’s mind. When the punisher or a guardian himself does not show a model behavior, it can lead your child towards a conflict.
For example, resolving a physical fight between two with physical actions like hitting and shouting at both, are not going to make it better. You are teaching your child that being physical and violent in such situations is a better choice to resolve issues. Whereas, we all know that every issue and fight can be resolved by calm discussion. Aside, you are telling him that he does not have self-control and someone else has to have him for better control. Aside, if a child is being hit or shouted at for his little wrong actions, he loses confidence.
Following are the negative impacts of punishment that affect the child’s upbringing.
- A child becomes afraid and feels fearful even outside too.
- Absorbs negative behaviors, and it lessens his verbal abilities
- It creates anxiety because he is afraid all the time that a minor mistake can get him into punishment.
- Effects intellectual development
- He thinks of himself as a useless and a bad person.
- It seeds resentment against a punisher that may lead to harmful consequences.
The researches show that punishment develops toxic stress, inferiority complex, and depression in the long run.
Knowing Discipline
Unlike punishment, discipline is a positive manner to teach the child about making the right choices. Inherently it is a more positive approach to deal with the misbehaved child with long-term effects.
Disciplining teaches your child positivity, develops confidence, and encourages a positive relationship with your child. By setting some rules, you teach your child that the world can be a better place. The child feels responsible and courageous to take responsibility for his actions and thus knows that negative consequences depend on his actions.
Discipline instead Punishing
For some parents, disciplining a child can be an ever-evolving journey. It becomes more difficult when you face punishment in childhood, and now you try to set discipline instead of punishment. There are many ways to discipline a child, though it is difficult but possible through simply applying some strategies. Even to the best of your try, punishment can take over in the heat of the moment, but these simple tips can be helpful for you to become a well-informed parent or a caregiver.
Model good behavior
Being a role model is always going to work in any situation. So is the case in attributing some disciplines to your child. If you cannot show positive behavior, you cannot expect the same from your child. Controlling your emotions, following rules, and making better choices can turn you into an effective parent and individual.
Be honest about your mistakes and embrace them when you slip and make a wrong choice. Admit that to your child that how you wanted to make it happen right, and that you chose the wrong way. Feeling regretful and talking about it can guide them in the right direction of not repeating the same mistake as you did.
Use positive approach
Praising your child’s positive behavior and pointing out their right choices is another good action to encourage their attitude. Rewarding a little good behavior instead of penalizing will help them make the right choices. Remember, do not directly link rewards in return to holding back on negative things, instead make it surprising; For example, celebrating a little trip as a reward for not quarreling with siblings.
Reconsider your goals according to the age of your child
Things evolve, so the reevaluation of your parenting goals is necessary. For example, you might observe that as your child grows, he does not need supervision while playing in the backyard, however, you may redefine that he should not go outside without you or to certain places like sidewalks and walk down the block.
For disciplining a younger child when outside, you have to be more watchful and attentive, though an older child can understand the difference in rules while going outside. Comparatively, it will be easier and appropriate to discipline older children and make them understand the rules.
Disciplining is not about setting free
You can use discipline whenever possible; it is not that you can give your children all the freedom they want, but let them know the consequences of their choices.
They will learn to make a better choice to avoid the negative outcome or things they dislike. Practicing such strategies will give your child an ideal autonomous environment that will foster their confidence; they will embrace their actions and thus will become respectful adults.
Take a note that Discipline is about:
- Teaching your child life skills, they need to handle situations, emotions, and self-control.
- Showing model behavior and making correct choices yourself.
- Be rewarding and clear about the rules to let your child understand that how to respond in situations, and what you expect from them.
Through such an approach, you can bring the life skills in your child that you can also quote as “do good when you expect good”
